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 cyber sex: by playboy

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shar

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Number of posts : 304
Age : 43
Registration date : 2009-01-14

PostSubject: cyber sex: by playboy   Wed Feb 04, 2009 10:24 pm

this is really long, sorry, but i am one of those people who loves to laugh, and this one had me rotflmfao!!

this is a cyber sex chat session between WELLHUNG and SWEETHEART (lol)

WH: hello, SW, what do u look like?

SH: i am wearing a red silk blouse, a mini skirt, and high heels. i wwork out every day, im toned and perfect. my measurements are 36-24-36. what do u look like?

WH: im 6'3 and about 250 lbs. i wear glasses and i have on a pair of blue sweat pants i just got from walmart. i am also wearing a t-shirt with a few spots of barbecue sauce on it from dinner...it smells funny.

SH: i want u. would u like to screw me?

WH: ok

SH: were in my bedroom. theres soft music playing on the stereo and candles on my dresser and night table. im looking up into your eyes, smiling. my hand works its way down to your crotch and begins to fondle your huge, swelling bulge.

WH: im gulping, im beginning to sweat.

SH: im pulling up your shirt and kissing your chest.

WH: now im unbuttoning your blouse. my hands are trembling.

SH: im moaning softly.

WH: im taking hold of your blouse and sliding it off slowly.

SH: m throwing back my head in pleasure. the cool silk slides off my warm skin. im rubbing your bulge faster, pulling and rubbing.

WH: my hand suddenly jerks spastically and accidentally rips a hole in your blouse. im sorry.

SH: thats ok it wasnt really too expensive.

WH: ill pay for it.

SH: dont worry about it. im wearing a lacy black bra. my soft breasts are rising and falling, as i breathe harder and harder.

WH: im fumbling with the clasp on your bra. i think its stuck. do u have any scissors?

SH: i take your ahnd and kiss it softly. im reaching back undoing the clasp. the bra slides off my body. the air caresses my breasts. my nipples are erect for u.

WH: how did u do that. im picking up the bra and inspecting the clasp.

SH: im arching my back. oh baby, i just want to feel your tongue all over me.

WH: im dropping the bra. now im licking your, u know, breasts. theyre neat!

SH: im running my fingers through your hair. now im nibbling your ear.

WH: i suddenly sneeze. your breasts are covered with spit and phlegm.

SH: what?

WH: im soo sorry. really.

SH: im wiping your phlegm off my breasts with the remains of my blouse.

WH: im taking the sopping wet blouse from u. i drop it with a plop.

SH: ok. im pulling your sweat pants down and rubbing your hard tool.

WH: im screaming like a woman. your hands are cold. yeeee!!!

SH: im pulling up my mini skirt. take off my panties.

WH: im pulling off your panties. my tongue is going all over, in and out, nibbling on u....ummm......wait a minute.

SH: what the matter?

WH: ive got a pubic hair caught in my throat. im choking.

SH: are u ok?

WH: im having a coughing fit. im turning red.

SH: can i help?

WH: im running to the kitchen, choking wildly. im fumbling through the cabinets, looking for a cup. where do u keep your cups?

SH: in the cabinet to the right of the sink.

WH: im drinking a cup of water. there, thats better.

SH: come back to me lover.

WH: im washing the cup now.

SH: im on the bed arching for u.

WH: im drying the cup. now im putting it back in the cabinet. and now im walking back to the bedroom. wait its dark, im lost. wheres the bedroom?

SH: last door on the left at the end of the hall.

WH: found it.

SH: im tugging off your pants. im moaning. i want you soo badly.

WH: me too.

SH: your pants are off. i kiss u passionately-our naked bodies pressing eachother.

WH: your face is pushing my glasses into my face. it hurts.

SH: why dont u take off your glasses?

WH: ok, but i cant see very well without them. i place the glasses on the night table.

SH: im bending over the bed. give it to me baby!

WH: i have to pee. im fumbling my way blindly across the room and toward the bathroom.

SH: hurry back lover.

WH: i find the bathroom and its dark. im feeling around for the toilet. i lift the lid.

SH: im waiting eagerly for your return.

WH: im done going. im feeling around for the flush handle, but i cant find it. uh-oh!

SH: what the matter now?

WH: i realize that ive peed in your laundry hamper. sorry, again. im walking back to the bedroom now, blindly feeling my way.

SH: mmm, yes. come on.

WH: ok, now im going to put my...u know....thing...in your...u know....womans thing.

SH: yes! do it, baby! do it!

WH: im touching your smooth butt. it feels so nice. i kiss your neck. umm, im having a little trouble here.

SH: im moving my ass back and forth, moaning. i cant stand it another second! slide in! screw me now!

WH: im flaccid.

SH: what?

WH: im limp. i cant sustain an erection.

SH: im standing up and turning around; an incredulous look on my face.

WH: im shrugging with a sad look on my face, my weiner all floppy. im going to get my glasses and see whats wrong.

SH: no, never mind. im getting dressed. im putting on my underwear. now im putting on my wet nasty blouse.

WH: no wait! now im squinting, trying to find the night table. im feeling along the dresser, knocking over cans of hair spray, picture frames and your candles.

SH: im buttoning my blouse.

WH: ive found my glasses. im putting them on. my god! one of our candles fell on the curtain. the curtain is on fire! im pointing at it, a shocked look on my face.

SH: go to hell, im logging off, u loser!

WH: now the carpet is on fire! oh nooooooooo!!!

SH: {logged off}




ok, way too long, but i hope it made u lol like me!!!
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Charla85

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Number of posts : 600
Age : 32
Location : Kentucky
Registration date : 2009-01-08

PostSubject: Re: cyber sex: by playboy   Wed Feb 04, 2009 10:54 pm

OMG!!!! Oh my sides are killin me!!!! That is too damn funny!!!
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